Before we begin to learn the Sir Woofington Official Oath for our swearing in ceremony, let’s review a few matters of proper canine etiquette:

Upon meeting me, you may feel compelled to lick my face. Resist. A dignified paw-shake will suffice.

Also, I must insist we abandon uncouth customs such as sniffing hindquarters — be they canine or (heaven forbid) human. We are creatures of class, are we not?

Lastly, let us address the matter of names. My title — bestowed by royal decree — is Sir Woofington, Fabled Scribe of Canine Tales. I am not “Woofie.” I am certainly not “Sir Woofie.” Such nicknames are an affront to my honor (and frankly, my ears).

Now that we've set the record straight, please join me in reciting the Official Oath of Our Noble Pack.

Kindly raise a paw and repeat after me:

“Every good dog deserves a belly rub. Woof!”

Welcome, fellow tail-wagger. You are now a proud member of the Woof Pack.